So here’s a little nugget of intolerance courtesy of the Miss USA pageant. Here’s what Miss California had to say about same-sex – sorry, I mean “opposite” marriage:
For fuck’s sake. It’s 2009, Miss California. “Not to offend anyone,” my ass. You offended me and quite visibly Perez Hilton (which is probably about the only time in my life I’ll ever feel any empathy for that guy, but that’s another blog post) and, I can’t speak for them but I’m willing to bet, the entire gay community. Can we talk about the “I was raised to believe marriage is between a man and a woman” horse shit? “I was raised to believe” is just code for “I’m a fully formed adult who still cannot formulate my own moral stance on what should be a pretty obvious issue so I stick with the one my intolerant parents forced onto me.” Congratulations; you’re a fucking idiot. The sooner we start bringing our kids up to be decent, tolerant individuals, the sooner we can do away with this bullshit, spineless excuse. If anything, my kids will be “raised to believe” in being compassionate human beings. Any two consenting adults that want to get married should have the right to do so and it’s no one’s business but the two of them. If two dudes want to get married, that’s between them. If I want to get married to…well, any girl who would be dumb enough to go for that, that’s our business.
Jesus. Someone set this chick up with Chris Brown.
You know, it’s really weird being on the other side of this particular fence, now that I think about it. The tides have turned – now I am frustrated with other people for not supporting the president, instead of the other way around. Say what you will about me drinking the Barack Kool-Aid, but I love the guy, and it infuriates me to read shit like this, where the former Vice President says we’re all gonna die because of Obama’s policies. Just because I vote Democrat does not mean by any stretch of the imagination that I think we should be soft little pussies on terrorism. It’s a very real threat. I just think it should be handled a little differently than the past administration. So with that little rant out of the way, here’s a shortlist in no particular order of people who, because they insist that Obama is a wimp who will get us all killed, can go fuck themselves:
Dick Cheney
Newt Gingrich
Bill O’Reilly
Glenn Beck (Really, Glenn Beck? Waterworks?)
Sean Hannity
Anyone employed by Fox News
Dick Cheney
You may notice a pattern here with these political commentators. Most of them fall under #6 in some form or fashion. Really though, as fucking frustrating as Fox News is to me, I take solace in knowing that they’re the only major news outlet that’s so full of abrasive pricks. If they would just go ahead and drop the “fair and balanced” bullshit and own up to being one-sided, I probably wouldn’t even think twice about them.
Edit: I would like you to note the intentional absence of George W. Bush from this list. While he can go fuck himself for other reasons, I respect the fact that he’s going to refrain from public opinion on current policy.
Most hip hop that comes out these days, specifically any variety of snap music; people that buy into said bullshit and drive around with it blasting out of their cars or have it as their ringtones; ringtones in general; people who can’t drive or who drive like shitheads; people who can drive better than me; people who can do anything else better than me; the fact that I don’t have a Mac; the fact that my mom, my girlfriend, and my best friend all have Macs; police around here; over-anxious, bored police in general; when Ben beats me in a NINJA CRISIS!!!!!!; when Courtney sticks her fingers in my butt; people who complain more than I do; people who get away with a lot more stuff than I do, have, or will; Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and every last other obnoxious publicity whore; people who are obsessed with said publicity whores and survive on Us Weekly and TMZ; people who swear more than I do; homophobes; over-the-top conservatives; over-the-top liberals; the four people left who still support Bush; people who bash Bush simply because it’s cool to do; people who don’t listen; cats; the fact that my dog smells horrible and still insists on trying to sleep on my bed (where only one horrible-smelling person is supposed to sleep, and that is me); closed-minded people; people who listen to shitty music; people who don’t listen to music period; people who have no sense of humor or who can’t appreciate my particularly warped one; girls who only go out with “cool/hot” guys who are almost always assholes and then have the audacity to bitch to me that all guys are insensitive pricks; fighting with my girlfriend; dumbasses who don’t believe in global warming; assholes who won’t shut the fuck up already about global warming; gas; driving (to clarify, I used to love it but now that I do nothing but it I fucking hate it); the fact that Ben didn’t stay here when he moved after Katrina; Ben’s steroid-enhanced muscles; people who don’t like Star Wars; people who have never seen Star Wars; people who don’t like Star Wars despite having never seen any of them; child molestors; when people don’t come to see me play; sixteen year old kids with BMW’s that their parents bought them; people that have nicer guitars than I do (which is everyone); people that won’t read all of this list; people who think taking pictures equals photography or makes them photographers; people who think that because they write a bunch of bullshit separated by line breaks that it equals poetry or makes them poets; girls who have pussies that smell like turkey; a girl I know to whom the last three things I listed apply; pretentious snobs; Fox News; when I fart and no one notices; middle-aged women who watch Desperate Housewives and think it speaks to them; people who are too stupid to grasp the concept of satire; anyone that has ever woken me up, whether I needed to be woken up or not; the process of waking up in general; people who make assumptions; hypocrites; people who don’t know the difference between good music/movies/whatever and music/movies/whatever that they like; when girls start talking about weight; the fact that Godzilla never visited Los Angeles; the fact that Los Angeles still hasn’t broken off the continent yet; wearing pants; people who think they’re hot shit and aren’t; people who are hot shit but don’t think they are; people who make the same face and peace sign in 20 million of the same MySpace pictures; slutty girls; people who blow me off; when I blow someone off; people who don’t speak English in places where English needs to be spoken (I’m talking to you, McDonald’s), people who listen to songs, but not albums; people who only talk about their car; people who talk on cell phones in movies; Bible-thumpers; holes in my socks.