About Patrick

Patrick (20) is a narcissistic prick and cynical, shitty individual whose occasional clever turn of a phrase belies what absolute turd he is. He spends his free time being totally unproductive and fancying himself as some kind of musician (currently working on his first EP, tentatively scheduled for digital release in May) and believes in living every week like it’s Shark Week. He can be reached via e-mail at pcortes63@gmail.com, but only by hot chicks and/or people who want to pay him money to eat things for no reason.

About Shawn

Shawn was born on April 13, 1743 into a family closely related to some of the most prominent individuals in Virginia, the third of eight children. His mother was Jane Randolph, daughter of Isham Randolph, a ship’s captain and sometime planter, and first cousin to Peyton Randolph.

While Shawn was campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on October 14, 1912, a saloonkeeper named John Schrank shot him, but the bullet lodged in his chest only after penetrating both his steel eyeglass case and passing through a thick (50 pages) single-folded copy of the speech he was carrying in his jacket.

In 1948, Shawn gained control of RKO, a struggling major Hollywood studio, by acquiring 25% of the outstanding stock from Floyd Odlum’s Atlas Corporation. Within weeks of taking control, he dismissed three-quarters of the work force and production was shut down for six months in 1949 while he undertook the investigation of the politics of all remaining studio employees. Completed pictures would be sent back for reshooting if he felt his star (especially female) was not properly presented, or if a film’s anti-communist politics were not sufficiently clear.

[[SECTION "1948" to "2004" CENSORED FOR NATIONAL SECURITY]]

In 2005 Shawn became named “Most likely to be named Most likely to ________” and received 13 BAFTA’s, 26 Oscars and 54 Nickelodeon kid choice awards.

During the years known as the “Lost Period” 2006-2008 little is known of Shawn’s whereabouts or what he did. The only evidence of Shawn during this time was the monthly mailings of “Skymall” and assorted travel guides to the Temecula California In-n-Out burger.

In 2009 Shawn began writing for PSAA.

About Patrick and Shawn Are Awesome

Patrick and Shawn Are Awesome was forged in the spring of 2009 out of a) whim and b) narcissism. These two Awesome heterosexual dudes felt a burning, innate need to share their wealth of knowledge and wisdom with the world, and decided that a blog was the best medium with which to do just that. At first, the site saw a very short-lived existence on tumblr, which was initially pretty cool with its nifty features but quickly proved to be an inadequate host for a blog of such calibur. Patrick quickly took matters into his own hands and moved PSAA to its own domain name where it currently resides and enlightens the patrons of the internet with wisdom on a daily basis.

Later in the spring of 2009, Led Zeppelin announced that they would be reuniting not just for a tour, but in the studio to record a concept album about Patrick and Shawn Are Awesome. (The album is widely regarded as Zeppelin’s finest work.) Around that time, Tupac Shakur revealed that he had indeed faked his own death – the story was announced exclusively via a video interview on PSAA before it was allowed to break to the rest of the major news outlets. During the interview, Pac stated that he had emerged from hiding upon seeing PSAA’s launch and could no longer contain his excitement. Later that year, Jesus Christ (from the wildly popular The Bible) returned to earth, but quickly made clear that His coming should not be greeted with nearly as much enthusiasm as the earlier launch of Patrick and Shawn Are Awesome. (It wasn’t.)

Some of those things that I just said are true.

The Rivalry!

At the end of March of 2009, rival bloggers Corey and Amanda launched their own pitifiul, insignificant blog, Mustache Cluster, as something of a challenge to PSAA. While this declaration of war was cute and endearing in concept, it will no doubt prove to be clumsy and tactless in execution and eventually its naive webmasters will cry and hang their heads in shame as they click the button to remove their miserable excuse for a rival blog from the internet that never even acknowledged its existence.